breaking: lance bangs returns (again!)

Welcome to Jackass News, a subsidiary of Jackass World here to bring you all the latest and greatest updates from all Jackass-related fields. 

You will also notice that today’s news is not technically breaking anymore. That is because I was grocery shopping this morning and listening to Bleeds. 

Today, North Carolina rockers Wednesday released their long-awaited follow-up to 2023’s Rat Saw God (long-awaited to me) – Bleeds, a 12-song barnstormer of an album helmed by the one and only Karly Hartzman. To celebrate the release, Wednesday worked with the one and only Lance Bangs to create a video for “Townies.”

This is the second video Lance Bangs, prolific music videographer and longtime camera operator for Jackass, has worked on this year, the first being for“Wristwatch” by MJ Lenderman (Wednesday’s guitarist, but you probably know that). 

The video’s story leans into the name, casting a clear divide between Wednesday (part of the townies) and the college students who kind of live in the same place, presumably Asheville. The video follows Hartzman putting up fliers for a Wednesday show and generally defiling the town before inviting a group of sorority members to the party. One woman accepts the invite and rocks out at the show before all her friends join her in the front row. The video also leans into the lyrics, where Hartzman ruminates on the viciousness young women experience and the necessity of togetherness. Instead of dividing the alt freaks and the preps, the video brings them together for one epic rager. 

(There’s also a brief reappearance of the basketballs from the “Wristwatch” video at the Can Opener’s intersection, suggesting a Bangs-Carolinas-Countrygaze Universe.)

And perhaps in the most Jackassian conclusion, Bangs thanks Dave England in the credits. (If you haven't seen England’s new project, check it out here.)

The video is very fun, very vintage, and very loud. We here at Jackass News can’t wait for another Bangs collaboration. Happy Wednesday Friday.

Stop reading here if you don’t like blood.

This brings me to our next segment at Jackass News. In honor of Wednesday’s new album Bleeds, I am ranking the top 3 times someone bled on Jackass (off the top of my head in this parking lot where I am typing this). 

The guys don’t bleed a lot in Jackass. Like you kind of think they would, but it’s mostly internal injuries instead of actually breaking skin. Concussions, not cuts. For this segment, I’m not counting any fake blood stunts. Those are funny, but I’m talking about bleeding. 

3. Lamborghini Tooth Pull: This is from Jackass 3D, and the exact stunt is described very clearly in the title. It’s pretty brutal. In the aftermath, Danger Ehren’s mouth is left missing a tooth and bleeding. I have long called this one of the most painful stunts in the franchise because Ehren actually fractured his skull here. However bone chilling that is, the blood dripping down his chin as he stares in shock (with the Travis Bickle haircut) is an all-time Ehren moment, and there aren’t many of those.

2. Ass Kicked By a Girl: In Jackass the Movie, Ryan Dunn bravely gets in the ring to box 3 time world champion kick boxer Naoko Kumagai. While Dunn was pretty rough and rowdy, he lost the fight very quickly, stunned in pain as Kumagai dropped him over and over in this overly ironic joke about fighting like a girl. This, I’m realizing, is also a mouth injury, but the shot of Dunn’s bloodied mouth guard left lying on the mat is one of the funniest in the series.

1. Anaconda Ball Pit: This is perhaps the most aware of Bleeding As A Consequence Of Their Actions the Jackass guys have ever been. The premise of the stunt is easy: find the anaconda in the ball pit, but in a later interview, Knoxville said he was terrified of reaching his hand in the pit and the snake biting through his wrist. So in the stunt, it kind of looks like everyone is wearing sweat bands, but they actually wrapped their wrists in electrical tape so the snake, which was definitely going to bite, wouldn’t hit a major artery or whatever. Anyway, you kinda gotta hand it to Knoxville, because the snake did bite his arms, just not his wrists.

Thank you loyal readers for tuning into Jackass News! I will be back soon with another actual Jackass essay in which I ask the question on everyone’s minds: Is Bam Margera the Keith Richards of Jackass? Just kidding, it’s not about that. Unless it is.